There and back again!

Remember when you said....

So remember March 2nd? Yep i know you do for it was the last day that I posted on this blog thingy... I thought it had died to tell you the truth but after a month i came back to visit it and found that I had had nearly 100hits in that month of nothing so I thought hey maybe Nick (yes u anderson!) visits this thing a few times a day so i might as well give him something to do while he's at work :p Or in reality what happened was that today I had fuckin nothin to do so i decided f it i might as well write something so ill huff and huff and forget to puff as i begin my little rant of the day.

Work Work Work it Out!

Being the male that I am (some might say unfortunately others might even dispute the original statement...) I'm always thinking about, well me quite honestly. You see thats how we work. A man's best friend ain't a fuckin mongrel dog, it ain't a drag queen cat, nor another motherfuckin human FUCK NO! No Its whatever that reflection in that mirror over there and there is.
God DAMN i love that reflection! You don't believe me? Who's more likely to look at themselves in a mirror the girl or the guy? Yep tis but the guy. Don't believe me? How many times have you seen a guy turn his head and follow himself away from a mirror? Take a quick glance when he thinks noone will notice? Check his hair real quick? A guy fuckin loves that mirror he'll kill for it, when noones around he'll flex in it, he'll pull a face for it, he'll tell his reflection something give it a nice warm comment to make it feel good and grow for him just like he wishes that useless little speck of self-esteem would.
In turn that leads men to the Mecca of the mirror, the gym. The single institution where male mirror adoration is taken to new heights. Stars of the mirror glare flaunt their abilities. Staring/flexing/sweating/deeply panting as they admire that chest. The gym and its full 360 degree mirrors are what every man everywhere wants. You fuckin love it you ball sack carrying fuck! You'll do bicep curls all day and turn to the camera to tell it some sweet governor-esque comment in a Austrian accent like "There is no better feeling in the world than the pump.... So imagine my luck im cumming at the gym, behind the stage, during the show, and at home..."
Ok ok so its a misquote but nonetheless is captures the major elements of my point :p Anyway back to my point if there was any. So being so very much in love with my penis wielding self as i am i decided that i would do some renovations to my exterior. I hopped on over to my local internet download ehem *cough* grocery store and picked up p90X. Yep that infomercial thingy thats meant to "make you ripped as fuck!" in just 90 days and started it up and now I too I am proud to say that i complete my mirror pilgrimages on a daily basis and am very happy with em!

The W-T-F?!

Speaking of gyms have you ever read through a workout nutritional guide? Well the main gist of any of those things is that there are certain rules for lifters and the most major one has always been no sweets! None! You cannot have chocolate, unless its dark chocolate or cocoa from the normal bean rite? Ok so ill be really calm here and will just softly/quietly pose the following question to you oh little nutritional guide... Why the fuck do you then fuckin advocate so much god damn chocolate post workout! Why are the protein shakes always made of chocolate! Why do protein bars always have a chocolate coating! Do you want me to fail! Is that wat you want corporation! Do you want me not to succeed in my pursuit of will smith ripness just so that i continue purchasing your protein bar that tastes like Im chewing on horse ass! Cos if thats how it is i might as well just eat horse ass at least that way ill noe what kind of shit im shovelling down my motherfucking throat you heartless corporate bastard! Stick it to the man! Stick it good! As long as we have a starbucks coffee afterward....
Ask yourself that question, in the morning when the activist wakes up and goes to brush his teeth does he use free trade toothpaste followed by free trade soap? Does he then drink free trade coffee and put on self made clothes? Oh my little hippie child go go ban coke as you drink pepsi go go act out act like you are different... how i love thee young hippie...

Me and my HippiEE!!!

I love hippies. I do! Ill be the first to say when Im walking down the street, "Oh my gosh look at that young fellow. Such dedication, such spirit, such correct vision about his life and goals! Look just look at him as he rolls around on that grass, high as a kite from similar stuff but different. Look at that smile that pure joy the random laughs followed by snorts and inadvertant conversations about Aristotle and how great philosophy is and why that means that coke is evil and marijuana is legal. What a young son! What a beautiful specimen of $50,000 going to good use, Bravo my boy bravo!" how i am you noe. I'm just really open minded to these things. I mean come on guys what in the world is better than say sleepin on a wednesday afternoon in January and then being woken up by a fire alarm and standing outside in the ball freeze weather cos the hippie downstairs needed to get a quick joint in before Econ at 3.10pm? Wat is better than coming back to your room on a Monday evening and finding that because that young lad from down the haul with the funky pants needed a quick chill out your room and pillows and sheets smell like ass? For me nothin in the world! I love it !!! LOVE IT!!!!!! More more more! Jst swamp the streets with shoeless, water in a jar drinking, frisbee tossing hippie motherfuckers from here to timbuktu, peace love free trade corporate job in 4 years and daddy's bank account and all is good!!!!

Yep thats me and my hippie thats
Im off to listen to Lupe Fiasco - The Cool.... I suggest you do the same...

The Nik